THE PERFECT BEACH DAY

step 1:  beat the crowds and wake up early

An early start is essential for a successful beach day.  There’s nothing worse than dragging ass all morning and finally getting everything in order just in time to sit in traffic and stumble over a crowded beach.  There is a certain feeling of tranquility and awe that overcomes oneself while standing on an empty beach staring out into the open ocean.  That overwhelming sense of insignificance in the face of nature, and simultaneous appreciation for the connection that we all share with it can be attained in those peaceful moments where we are alone with our thoughts.  Don’t miss out on it. 

“pro tip #1:  put your phone across the room and force yourself to get out of bed to hit that alarm.”

 step 2: gear up

Now that you made it out of bed before noon, it’s time to load up the rig for your day.  There are a few essential items that must be brought on every beach excursion, no exceptions.

First on the essentials list is the beach chair.  This is your number one item to accompany anyone to the beach, and you should not leave home without it.  This isn’t high school anymore, lying on a towel all day is inefficient and excruciatingly uncomfortable.  The chair, preferably with cup holders, maximizes comfort and enables one to actually look out into the ocean and enjoy the view.  Go pick one up and your level of beach enjoyment will grow exponentially.

Number two, and not far behind, are sunglasses. This may sound painfully obvious, but wear polarized sunglasses.  It’s hard to imagine how many kooks I witness, most without beach chairs mind you, propping themselves up on their beach towels with the same arm that is holding a certain domestic beer that shall remain nameless, while squinting and shading their eyes with their one free hand.  Protect your eyes, and thank me later.

Now that you have your chair and shades, you could go out on a bare bones beach trip and make a pretty decent day of it.  However, there is one final essential item, and that is your bag.  The bag is your survival kit; it’s your sanctuary.  Load up your bag with your beach towel, sunscreen, phone, cash, hat, shirt, flip-flops, and your source of entertainment.  The source of entertainment can be up to you, a book, a board game (backgammon preferably), speakers, anything.  Just bring something to occupy your mind at the beach.

The following items are not essentials.  They do not need to accompany you on every trip, but it’s pretty damn close.  On top of the aforementioned items, you should strongly consider bringing an umbrella and a cooler for water, drinks and snacks.  Also, if you’re going to bring an umbrella, please dig it into the ground properly.  Maybe I’ll write up a guide on how to put an umbrella into the sand without sending your fellow beach neighbors running for the dunes with the first gust of wind, but that’s for another article.

step 3: grub

Okay, you’re all geared up, all set to hit the beach, there’s just one pit stop you need to make on your way, the bagel shop.  There is only one perfect bagel, people may debate me on this, but it is tried and true, and that is the “everything” bagel with vegetable cream cheese.  Get whatever your heart desires, no judgments here, ok maybe some, but do yourself a favor and grab this classic, or two, before hitting the beach and you won’t be disappointed.

step 4: get to your spot

As you make your way to the beach more frequently, start to develop a spot.  Try to set up in the same area, it makes it easier for friends to meet up with you, and you get to know your surrounding regulars.  As far as getting to that spot, if there is a secret path or less traveled route, take it. If there is a footpath or a highway to cross, go for it.  Make your day an adventure as much as possible.

“pro tip #2: the white paint is your friend.  black top pavement baking in the sun all day is brutal on the feet, if you’re going barefoot, walk on the white lines of parking spaces for some relief.”

 step 5: relax

That’s it, its pretty simple.  Sit back in your chair, open a book, grab that bagel and enjoy the beach the way it should be enjoyed.